There's something about being really sick that forces you to do some long hard reflection about your life. Something about being in bed for hours and having the beautiful day outside your window, taunting you with sunshine, that leads you to start making crazy big plans for what you're going to do when you feel normal again. And something about not really running for a number of days that gives you just a certain amount of crazy (more than you already had) to make you actually start thinking of following through with these crazy plans.
The truth is, I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for a next chapter. A next big step in life. I'm not sure what form this change will take. Maybe it means just getting a new kitchen table and changing the pictures on my wall. Ha! Or maybe it means having a new goal to work towards. But I think it is bigger than that. For awhile now, I've had a feeling that the next big chapter in my life is about to begin. It is that feeling I got when I met my husband. When I just knew that things were meant to be...that the stars were aligned so-to-speak.
Whatever this change will be, I'm ready for it. And I'm not scared to make changes anymore. The past few years, I've found myself pretty grounded. Resistant to too much change, really. I've stayed close to my comforts and kept things simple. And this has been good for me. After all, I've been a mama to some pretty little ones that have required me to keep things on the simple side. I've been adjusting to the job of stay-at-home-mama. But the kids are getting a little older, it is becoming easier to travel, I'm finding myself with a crazy amount of passionate ideas/inspiration swirling around in this head of mine...and I'm just ready to break this mold that I'm living in and see where life leads. This may or may not involve a big move in the near future. But wouldn't it be exciting if it did? I think so.
As the quote above says:
"The Purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." --Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is so so short. And it is so very easy to get stuck in a rut. Go through the motions. Just settle and be content with what works instead of what makes us feel most alive. We get settled and then fear change because we are naturally creatures of habit. I'm not saying it is always feasible, desirable or even wise to just pick up and run away from our current life and start over. But this quote just confirms the desire within me to always be seeking richness in life. It reminds me to make my days full of experiences that fill me deeply, fuel my passions, and drive me to be the Amanda that I was designed for. And most importantly, to reach out for new experiences without FEAR.
These new experiences could be as simple as signing up for a new race distance, joining a group that involves a passion or interest, traveling to a new place, switching schools, starting a graduate program or going back to school. So many possibilities....EXPERIENCES....just waiting for us. I'm excited to see what happens when I get rid of fear and resistance and just start DOING some of the things I spend my time talking and dreaming about. There are many dreams inside this head of mine and I'm ready to put them into action.
I'm ready for a new adventure. And if it is what I'm thinking it might be....I KNOW it will be an experience I can "taste to the utmost".
What is something you've wanted to do for a long time but have let fear get in the way?
What does this quote above make you think of? How does it speak to you (if at all)?
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